Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
