Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
