Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just blew my weed a kiss
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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