dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
