I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My life is pants optional.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
