i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
