summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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