I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have post one night stand depression
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
