R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize