Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
