On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
