Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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