You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
