My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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