9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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