So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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