god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
well you can't waste a boner
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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