How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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