someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
