I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love you. Go after that dick
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
