You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
