She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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