Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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