and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
