Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
