I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
