the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
