How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
