having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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