he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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