yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
