Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
