Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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