OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
