what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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