can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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