He told me they were just razor bumps!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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