you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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