If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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