I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
