Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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