we have officially lost it.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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