you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
