Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
