dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
