Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
