You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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