I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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