hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
