You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
