Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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