Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
