he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
