The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
