you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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