All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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