he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
