Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
