Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He passed out mid-signature
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
