woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
