Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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